Monday, June 7
 

I know all of you are just too deep in a state of national mourning to laugh, but this is pretty darn funny. Making the rounds in HK email accounts is the above, a photo of a laptop bag made by a small American company....the washing instructions on the label in French translate as the following:

wash with warm water
use mild soap
dry flat
do not use bleach
do not dry in the dryer
do not iron
we are sorry that
our president is an idiot
we did not vote for him

In graduate school, we would have called this "found poetry."

In Hong Kong, you're always happening upon things you don't quite understand. People who refuse to zigzag through pedestrian traffic, for instance, and barrel on ahead as if they are walking through an open field (more about that here). Double decker buses that pin people up against walls. Raw pig skin sold as snacks. And then there are models of action sequences for films never made. Your guess is as good as mine.

Wednesday, May 26
 

Happy Birthday Buddha!

Yes, you've seen this photo before, but it's Buddha's birthday! And although there are over 400 Buddhist temples in Hong Kong, it's this one at Po Lin Monastary on Lantau Island that something like 100,000 people flock to on this very day. It's the largest, seated, outdoor bronze Buddha statue in the world...which means the smallest, standing, indoor gold Buddha is somewhere else. I wanted to think the Po Lin Buddha was a mysterious ancient relic left behind by a highly advanced bygone civilization, like the Egyptian pyramids or Angkor Wat. But in truth it was installed in 1990, hoisted high up on its mountain perch by a giant crane. They're currently in the process of building a cable car line to it, so visitors to the Buddha can get that true Disneyland Buddha experience. Someone tell me, what is it with the Chinese and cable cars? They've got them taking people up to the Great Wall too.

I've seen more Buddhas than I can count on my journeys around these parts, but by far my favorite is one I do not have a picture of, because they don't allow cameras (or shoes, or even talking) to spoil its peaceful domain. It's the Emerald Buddha at Wat Phra Kaeo in Bangkok. It's small for a Buddha, and sits high on a golden altar, but it appears to emanate a kind of green light, and you can't help but feel awestruck in its enlightened presence. This Buddha has mysterious origins. It was first found in 1434 covered in stucco. Some time later, the stucco began to crumble away and the Emerald Buddha emerged. Now somebody must have cared for the Emerald Buddha very deeply to have protected it in such a way.

The real Buddha was born in Lumpini, Nepal (I'm sure he looked nothing like Keanu). It is said he was born on a lotus blossom. This is the reason the lotus flower of such vaunted status in Asia. The amazing Tibetan stupas we saw in Nepal were said to be built upon a single lotus flower.

So how do Buddhists in Asia celebrate his birthday? Cakes and Chi Chi's singalongs? No. Many here make pilgrimages to the temples, the very faithful entering on their hands and knees banging their foreheads to the ground with each step. This is always a little freaky to see. But most people honor the day by giving their Buddha statues a bath. Scrub-a-dub-dub Rubber Ducky Buddha has yet to be marketed in China, but give it time.
 

Monday, May 24

Aiyahhhhh! That's Cantonese for "oy vey" or "the world's going to hell in a handbasket," or alternately, when reflecting on the news of the day, "the free world is being run by a complete jackass." Not only can he not eat a pretzel and watch a football game at the same time without losing consciousness, or balance himself on a self-balancing Segway scooter, or master the most rudimentary expressions of his mother tongue, he can't even go downhill on a mountain bike in his own backyard! No wonder his personal physician travels with him at all times, he might lose an eye just trying to get his pants on in the morning, or choke on his own spit.

Oh people, it's hard to be overseas and just watch your country go down the drain. Fortunately, le resistance is brewing in France. As you may or may not be aware, Michael Moore's searing indictment of the Bush Admin, Fahrenheit 911, took the Palme d'Or at Cannes. Can Moore's scathing polemic be just the thing to provide the big mo to turn the tide?

"It was a spectacular rebuke to Republican and corporate America, a stunning exocet of scorn launched from the epicentre of old Europe," is how the UK paper the Guardian put it.

In another article everyone should read, the Times' Frank Rich details some seedy candid camera behavior in the film:

"A particularly unappetizing spectacle is provided by Paul Wolfowitz, the architect of both the administration's Iraqi fixation and its doctrine of "preventive" war. We watch him stick his comb in his mouth until it is wet with spit, after which he runs it through his hair."

GROSS! I don't know what's worse, making his bangs all crusty with saliva or sucking on his own dandriff? AIYAHHHH

All the Michael Moore hoopla overshadowed the fact that Asia totally kicked butt at Cannes. Beautiful Hong Kong actress Maggie Cheung took best actress. And Hong Kong director Wong Kar-wai's mysterious film 2046 would have won the Palme, if not for global frustration with the Bush Administration. Check out the mesmerizing film In the Mood for Love to see both Maggie Cheung and Wong Kar-wai in top form. The movie also features gorgeous cheongsams (traditional Chinese dresses) designed by Hong Kong's Shanghai Tang, the coolest shop in town.
 

Monday, May 17
 

No spitting at the Chinese opera remember.

Actually it wasn't the real Chinese opera, but some kind of strange roadshow we happened upon involving a multitude of deconstructed tablecloths and piercing, eardrum shattering cymbal banging. But I have to admit, aside from the female solos, which tended to sound like the noise a cat would make after being submerged in a vat of water, and the jumpy nervous condition we developed from all the cymbal thrashing, it was kind of cool.
 

Monday, May 10
 

Balinese Dreams

No, I did not run off to Bali and decide to never come back, I was just too blissed out on the frangipani scented air to deal with technology for the past week. But I have to admit, we did have moments where we were tempted to shuck all our material burdens and find a nice patch of Balinese heaven to call our own, a little hut in the hills where we could walk around dreamily in sarongs and eat of the many fruits and vegetation that grows so abundantly in the trees and earth. Many places proclaim to be paradise. Bali IS paradise, and its sweet siren call is hard to abandon.

The Balinese are maybe the sweetest, most hospitable and spiritual people on earth. Everyone has a kind look for you. They're Hindu, but appear to worship most frequently at the altar of beauty, and everything they touch is transformed into something lovely, like these little girls.

...And these hills, terraced rice paddies, which follow the slope of the earth. We stayed up in the hills of Ubud, about an hour away from the beaches. It's considered the cultural and artistic heart of the island, and less touristy. It was serene and gorgeous!

They say there are three temples for every household in Bali. Here is one amidst a lotus pond.

A child performing the traditional Lelong dance, it's mesmerizing.

Girls practicing their Lelong dance.

Gunung Batur, an active volcano, one of the most spiritually important sites in Bali.

Temple Pura Ulun Danu.

Shrines (candi) carved into the rock face at Gunung Kawi. Legend says each candi memorializes a member of the 11th-century Balinese royalty.

Mama and baby monkey in the Sacred Monkey Forest. They're moody, these monkeys, and sophisticated! They were snatching at people's belongings and begging for bananas.

Oh yeah, we stayed at a deluxe villa in the hills. HEAVEN! One of the finest resorts on the island, its perched above the mystical Ayung River gorge. Mick Jagger got married in one of these.

And check out the pool! It appears to float above the gorge.

Bruce at the resort's hillside bungalow. You can play chess or have a private dinner served.

And lest we forget...the beaches! We didn't spend much time here. But they are beautiful!

Frangipani flowers. When I say the air smells like frangipani, I mean it. They're everywhere, in people's hair, adorning the food, hanging from the trees and sitting at your bedside at night.